My mother refuses to believe that I am not pregnant! I suppose it should make me happy, she still has hope where there is none. (But it just makes me a little concerned about her - she is 82 and not quite herself lately).
I took a pregnancy test with my breast milk - just for fun - and to see another false positive.
I feel strangely accepting of this cycle not working out, and have decided not to doubt physical symptoms I felt, but I am pleased to say, I now have a very pain free period - after all the pains I felt for the last days. Weird.
Yesterday I had a play date with a very "granola" friend. She was so funny because she just said point blank. "Completely wean and take drugs!" Turns out that's what she had to do after 3 years of marriage - with no discovered infertility problem with either her or her husband, and their first medicated IUI worked. She has told no one. Why are people so secretive about getting fertility help?
I also suddenly realized that I have absolutely no confidence in my doctor (I can't really make sensible decisions about protocol) and so i have decided to switch clinics. It Turns out the first available new patient appointment at the other clinic is at the end of september. I will call in every day for a cancellation. I'm not waiting that long - it would put me doing an IUI in early november!
Finally if I have to do another cycle while I wait to switch clinics - I am worried about running out of vials (I have a good number - but there are absolutely no more when these are done.) I was reading something on the internet about splitting a vial. My donor consistently has more than 20 000 swimmers - why could I not use half - It's just I don't trust my doctor to get the right day - and when I got pregnant with Sage ended up using two vials to cover our bases. I don't have enough to do this again.
I spoke to someone at my bank who said they had never even heard of this (and seemed rather annoyed at me). Such a pity because every other time I have called, they have really excelled themselves. One time they even had me talk to the head of their sperm research. Too bad I forgot his name!