Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The irony of life

I was sitting in the jacuzzi a couple of nights ago, and a very smiley (and extremely large) lady got in beside me - no clothes on.  I tried to look the pother way, but very soon we got talking.  I told her I had to be back home soon to let the sitter go - and that I am trying for baby number 2.  She explained how hard it was as a single mother, I thought I understood until she said that at her house she had 6 kids!

She told me "You know I am 40 years old, and in december I was pregnant again!  but I lost the baby....... - It was such a blessing!  I didn't realize it then, but I do now because I just found I am pregnant again.  I'm always pregnant.   I wouldn't normally sit in a jacuzzi you know, but I don't know how I could cope with another, my baby is only four, and I don't have the money to pay for an abortion."

Life is so weird, I really felt for her situation.  I found myself wondering if I should offer to help her pay for it - then i got totally confused, I don't even approve of it.  But what sort of life would the child have. One person prays to be pregnant while the next prays not to be.  It was a some sort of life test I suppose. But I went home questioning why life is like this.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The quickest way to get pregnant

I have always been a big believer in Sod's Law.  So when I confront my difficulties in getting pregnant I wanted to tackle the issue from all angles - including sod's law.  To this effect I have made quite sure to go out and buy new clothes that I know could not possibly fit me, should I ever become pregnant again.  If I am going to stay thin I might as well enjoy it,  right!  So I went shopping and was just about to buy the most expensive pair of jeans ever - until the sales man said "you look so hot in those - your husband won't be able to keep his hands off you" to which I replied " Husband? - I'll take two."

On the weaning front, we had our first night of screaming.  First ever.  I decided that I would let Sage  fall asleep at the breast but further feeds would have to be from the bottle, as apparently these feeds are the most detrimental to the cycle.  She sounded as though her world had ended and completely refused the bottle, batting it away with her hand and screaming NO.  She finally fell asleep crying. I was determined not to give in and produce my tit, as it is my strong belief that this will only encourage her to learn to be stubborn (and let's face it she wouldn't even accept the perfectly good goats milk she is happy to drink at other times).  I won, but neither of us slept too well.

When I recounted all of this to my mother, suggested that I explain to Sage why I won't let her feed.  To my surprise Sage seemed to understand somewhat, and even came to me with a picture on my iPhone of me with a very pregnant tommy.  The next night there was only a little bit of complaining but when I reminded her "Mama wants a baby so Sage has to help mama and drink from the bottle" We both got back to sleep within a matter of minutes.  Who would have thought that at 17.5 months she could understand something like that, I am so proud of her.

TOO much sharing? I don't know if it was the no feeding during the night - the acupuncture
- but I seem to have the most female mucus EVER,  Such a pity I have decided to leave this cycle fallow - but my ovulation will just be too late in the cycle, day 20.