I have decided to record every single twinge and tang associated with this cycle, even if it later proves I am nothing but a complete hypochondriac. It will be good reference for any future cycles, and perhaps it will help me keep my emotions in check should this one not work out. And the good news is that this blog is completely anonymous so I can be ruthlessly honest.
I feel about as pregnant as can be. I am certain that it has worked. My tits are sore - and either there is not the normal milk supply or it tastes funny, because for two out of three feedings yesterday, I got impatient with Sage offered her a bottle, and she seemed delighted! She is not yet terribly verbal, but it was clear she was also trying to tell me something about wanting the bottle over my milk - and I was not upset about it. Just pleased that the soreness would stop. If this carries on she will be weaned very soon.
My mind was a wash yesterday. As soon as Sage and nanny were safely out of the house I found myself having crept back into bed. I didn't want to sleep. My mind felt like goo. I didn't feel at all sick - just I had no impetus to do anything. In fairness though it the first day in about 8 months I had the nanny booked and didn't have ton run to work.
Before lunch a last appointment at the dentist - I now have all my teeth again (a partial instead of an implant) and it was all good news. After much cajoling, in the afternoon I got Sage to take 3 hour nap with me!
I had to pull myself out of bed at 6pm- for all things - to go on a date. (Such bad timing I know).
Now I normally have a pretty sensitive nose, so I was thankful that he had taken a shower before picking me up. However in the theater I could smell the lady's feet sitting three chairs away from me, and behind us the smell of stale sweat mixed with beer. To add to the situation, my date leaned over to say a few words during the movie, and it became clear to me that he has dental decay in his mouth - which smells vial. Was I more sensitive to the smell than usual - I have no way of knowing!
I got up (from the rather long movie) and panicked and suddenly thought "I don't feel pregnant any more" only to notice on the way home that I have what feels like very real period pains (like a 4 out of 10), and extreme heaviness in the legs. As I have taken no drugs, and I did not feel at all this way the night before - I know it has to be a baby in the making. Though my mind boggles how so soon after conception - possibly not even 30 hours - I could feel so extremely pathetic and pregnant. I even found myself considering for quite some moments the upsides of Not being pregnant!