Friday, April 8, 2011

Crazy me - 8 days post ICI, 7 days post IUI

To be honest, I am really quite amazed at the way I handled my whole insemination drama last week.  I was so calm and super confident in my special swimmers, and their ability to find my two special eggs, that for about three days, I walked around (my small town) in total confidence that very shortly I would be giving birth to twins. 

Then on Sunday evening  I started to have a major freak out (that nothing could ease).  I started to worry that I had not placed by swimmers close enough to the cervix and I began to chastise myself for not demanding to be inseminated by a doctor when I could clearly feel that I had ovulated. "I must be more assertive" I kept thinking - but really I hate having to be assertive - I am actually someone who really prefers to agree!  I just pray I never have to go back to my fertility clinic and Dr Uncommunicative - other than to thank them for getting me pregnant (even though in reality they should be thanking me for self inseminating - and boosting their figures).

Anyway, in the midst of my panicking that one egg was lost,  I had some sort of vision about my eggs having their own aura.  The one on the right ovary (that popped out Thursday morning) I saw as having a yellow red color - and the one from my left ovary (popped Friday) I saw as having a blue green aura.  Then I decided my favorite one was the yellow red, but decided that it had died!  I went through a ridiculous phase of morning the loss of my red yellow egg and anger at my doctor.  Then I started feeling that perhaps the smaller (blue green) egg was only second best - and if I do manage to get pregnant - I really want to know whose egg made the baby.  The one I got (red yellow)- or the one the doc inseminated friday (blue green).  

Ok I know I am COMPLETELY crazy.  But this has given me much food for thought and the excuse to start peeing on expensive strips of paper right away.  As yet all negative.  The sooner my test shows up pregnant, the more likely it is to have been the red yellow - fertilized from the home insemination - and that would be Great news.

The good news is that I have been out of town for work - and have been having an insanely great time - due to a whole series of unforeseen coincidences. 

Also I am convinced I had very light spotting on day 6, have no idea what my temp is up to - because I keep forgetting, and now I have misplaced the thermometer.  The progesterone suppository is kind of yucky, and makes me ravenously hungry.  It did however seam to diminish the awful pains in my tits from the ovadril injection.  Did I get to mention it here - I am convinced the Ovadril almost caused my ovaries to rupture - I nearly drove myself to the ER, but then things started to get better. Not sure I should take that again.

More news is that I have met so many lovely people this week - and I even met I guy that interested me.  He was serving me in a music shop.  I am sure he can only be 30 or less, but after much consultation, encouragement and coaching from my friends (and googling him and discovering that he is Not on Facebook), I asked him out for a meal - and we have a date this sunday morning!  Actually when I first saw him, I noticed his thinning hair, high forehead, and gorgeous smile, and I thought "he could be my donor - I hope my donor looks as cute as this".

So Please Pray for me - that I get pregnant with the yellow red egg, that he turns out to be 38, and that he accepts me fat and feminine, and that he has always held the desire to move to my home town.  

Not asking too much am I ?

1 comment:

  1. You're my kind of crazy. I love your positive attitude. Have a great date tomorrow.