Monday, October 19, 2015


Some people say it is love at first sight - others say it's love on hearing the heart beat.  When I had Sage there was no such sudden emotion - it was an incredibility slow growing love - that has just grown and developed.  Now she is nearly four I totally adore her!

But the oddest thing happened when I showed up for my single embryo transfer.  I had been waiting for some sort of special sign or auspicious moment, but there had been absolutely none.   I even did a special meditation - to no avail.  I couldn't concentrate.  The nanny who I had brought with us for the road trip from SmallTown to Atlanta disappeared into our hotel room - taken suddenly with a stomach bug, and I thought I would be late for the transfer

The clinic called me the day before to tell me that out of 6 eggs I had bought there was one grade A blast, one grade B and they would wait to see what might happen with the rest but didn't hold out much hope.  The nurse directed me to drink 40 ounces of water and hour before (I took it easy and drank three glasses of dilute apple juice- which was apparently just fine.)  I just remember wanting to pee so badly when I was pregnant with Sage that I would nearly throw up at the same time - and didn't fancy any sort of accident.

When I arrived in the transfer room the nurse showed me my embryo on the screen and in a flash all my anxiety's of the previous day just vanished.  I quit worrying about what sort of person I was bringing into this world.   It was as though I caught a glimpse of the divine.  I think I couldn't stop marveling at how beautiful the embryo picture was - until finally the embryologist came out and said that actually it was a pretty good looking blast!

Then I made them read out both the donor numbers - and thankfully everything seemed to be just what I had ordered (Sage's sperm donor + egg donor).

We chatted a little and the embryologist told me I have a two percent chance of identicles - He looked shocked when I told him that this was absolutely not allowed to happened and I had been told it was only one percent- I had previously explained to the Doc if he gave me twins - either he takes one home or he fixes it - He told me I would do just fine with twins - I assured him that there are plenty of people are praying for me that I get just one - because I won't be just fine!

The embryo was placed in a few seconds - and to my surprise the on call doctor doing the procedure  seemed quite excited gave me a huge hug and wished me a ton of luck.  And I was off on my long drive back to SmallTown.

When I came down to reception to pick up Sage and the Nanny - the security guard was all over me (a young 20's dude) "Oh you have a musical instrument with you - won't you play for me - You are THE BEST - can I watch you on Youtube etc."  I took this as a  good Omen.  When I was pregnant with Sage I also seemed to have some sort of unusual charisma!

So far I have not felt any particular sensations other than the usual cramping that I had from the mock transfer too.  I'm really hoping this works!


  1. Yay! Beautiful first picture of Baby!

  2. Love that the universe gave you the signs you needed!!