crappy news all around

I went in for my IUI today, #6 for  a new baby.  I was about to sign the form acknowledging donor number when the doctor told me that there was only ONE million moving sperm out of the vial - and many of theses were not moving forward.  (Nearly a Zero percent chance of pregnancy - but they didn't mention this).   I was so shocked.

The vial started out with a count of 32 million from the bank.   It was split at my RE's office at my last cycle, they thawed half - and I was told I was inseminated with 5 million (an OK figure).  When I questioned what happened to the rest of the sperm, they told me that actually the 5 mil was wrong - because most of those were dead too.

If they knew this to be the case why did they not tell me, so I could put the rest of this vial aside for an IVF attempt or donor egg cycle - which would only need  a handful of good sperm.

So in actual fact the last cycle busted because I had crap sperm numbers and crap motility - (and possibly a stale egg!), and this cycle will be a bust for the same reason.  I had No chance.  The RE did mention that we could tip the vial down the sink, but that my chances would be higher if we placed them in my cervix! (Even I could figure that out Thanks!).

In addition I am so annoyed because all day yesterday they did not call me to give me my progesterone results - and I waited on tenterhooks being sure that my insemination would have been yesterday (as it has been in every other case bar the first, which we all agreed was too late).  In the end I decided to drop into the clinic to find out what was going on towards closing - and it took them forever to get to me.  Even at that point if someone would just have answered my two messages and given me just the results of the test (which I am paying out of pocket for) I would have been able to overnight an additional vial in time for todays insemination.  (Of course I should have ordered this ages ago - but I was disorganized and also ovulated way earlier than i was expecting.)

Royally pissed off.  This all comes after having discovered only a month ago that for  nearly 4 months I have been taking the WRONG homeopathic medication.  I still can't figure out how the mess up happened - if it was the pharmacy, the homeopath or my bad note taking.  Turns out the remedy I was given to facilitate ovulation was taken in the wrong potency - one which would suppress ovulation.  Could this be the reason that I had two cycles back to back of 57 and 65 days! - I thought the hot flushes and lack of period were due to a long time overdose of B vitamins (unlikely but plausible).

The good news is that this cycle I was taking the right remedy and got a positive OPK earlier than I ever have before, day 9.5.  And my uterine lining on ultrasound was thicker than ever at a 10 (usually a 7-8 ish).  Oh and I won't mention all the lovely fertile mucus that appeared out of nowhere - for days on end!

In briefly speaking to the RE we agreed that I definitely need more sperm - so no more half vials (as clearly this clinic in incapable of doing it right) and I also need more eggs to maximize any chance I might have of making a baby with the remaining vials of Sage's donor.

Next cycle - no more breast feeding- I am dreading it.  I might pump and dump - once a day - or wean.  No trip to the beach - because it will probably be during the monitoring phase - or perhaps we can just go for a couple days - depends on when I get my period.
Then I have to travel  to UK so miss a few cycles (which is OK because I will probably have a cyst after taking Femera anyway).  Doc suggested taking Clomid because it creates more eggs (I would hate to have twins and could just not do it) - I reminded her that Femera had worked for me to make Sage, and lucky I had just looked at a table that showed Femera makes fewer eggs but a much higher implantation rate!

So I'm all set - sort of, and really bummed out.

In nice things to look forward to, I just ordered a far too expensive swing set which will arrive about the time I get my period - and a very inexpensive fall apart very soon - indoor trampoline, which will be much better for Sage to jump on than our bed.

Last very positive thing is actually very amazing. At nearly two and a half years old Sage had made a line drawing of a Parrot.  It looks Exactly like a parrot.  Must be a fluke.  Her first ever drawing a year ago was extraordinary - and now this!