Thursday, May 30, 2013

Oh no, where's my AMH all gone!

I went to my internist to get my thyroid checked because I have lost so much weight.  The results have come back normal - so no answers there.  Perhaps after all I have been eating less because of my teeth situation (two pulled out, finally out of pain after 4 months, but I can still only eat on one side.  Waiting for partial, which keeps getting delayed - they screwed it up last time, and it got lost in the queue for today's dentist visit).

I also plucked up the courage to ask my internist to have my AMH tested.  I just wasn't prepared to get the news before now, so in actual fact I never asked that Dr Uncommunicative test me - and she never suggests anything on her own!

When I got pregnant with Sage I had 0.52.  Since it has been exactly 2 years since I got pregnant - I looked up average loss per year which is supposed to be about 0.1.  I was bracing myself for something low.  What I got is  0.16.

I suppose it's good to know what's what, depressing as it is.  Now I really do have to start weaning.  Not just talking about it - Actually weaning her.  (I can't start taking any drugs until I do).  The problem is that my life has been so extremely stressful recently, and breast feeding her is just the easiest for me.  I also remember when I tried to wean her at 5 weeks (due to mastitis) how extremely depressed I became.

I have had So many huge things going on at the same time - an article was published about me in a national newspaper about my having been sexually abused as a teenager - continual teeth issues (pain annoyance & surgery, I have been going back and forth on a house I might be moving in to, and accompanying financial worries, tax problems, issues at work, new nanny, sleep problems, and the fact I have to home cook every single thing I eat because of allergies (which keep me awake at night if I am not careful).  I could go on.  I know everyone has a life - that is not easy, but mine seems to have been just too full and too difficult since getting pregnant with Sage.

But I am just Determined to have another baby, because it's something that can't wait until I'm 50!  Stale eggs or fresh eggs.  I just have to get on a schedule, and put my name down for IVF or fresh eggs at a proper clinic, with a real doctor (before I run out of sage's magic seed!)

I firmly believe that it will just be hard for a couple more years, then the rest will be So much easier.  Already I just LOVE having Sage So SO much.  If there is anyone out there who is reading this and thinking  "do i really want a child"  my answer is "YES" my child is everything and more than I had ever imagined a child could be.  "Pushing the pram" is just such fun!

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like you have a lot going on...sorry your AMH came back so low. Hopefullt weaning will go better this try. Weaning hormones just about drove me insane!

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    1. Actually the icing on the plate was the nurse who called to tell me my AMH result was "good news" because it was in the normal range!

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  2. My AMH was the same.

    Pretty crappy news - and even worse with the nurse who clearly had no idea what she was talking about.

    Good luck with your next steps!

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