I went to my internist to get my thyroid checked because I have lost so much weight. The results have come back normal - so no answers there. Perhaps after all I have been eating less because of my teeth situation (two pulled out, finally out of pain after 4 months, but I can still only eat on one side. Waiting for partial, which keeps getting delayed - they screwed it up last time, and it got lost in the queue for today's dentist visit).
I also plucked up the courage to ask my internist to have my AMH tested. I just wasn't prepared to get the news before now, so in actual fact I never asked that Dr Uncommunicative test me - and she never suggests anything on her own!
When I got pregnant with Sage I had 0.52. Since it has been exactly 2 years since I got pregnant - I looked up average loss per year which is supposed to be about 0.1. I was bracing myself for something low. What I got is 0.16.
I suppose it's good to know what's what, depressing as it is. Now I really do have to start weaning. Not just talking about it - Actually weaning her. (I can't start taking any drugs until I do). The problem is that my life has been so extremely stressful recently, and breast feeding her is just the easiest for me. I also remember when I tried to wean her at 5 weeks (due to mastitis) how extremely depressed I became.
I have had So many huge things going on at the same time - an article was published about me in a national newspaper about my having been sexually abused as a teenager - continual teeth issues (pain annoyance & surgery, I have been going back and forth on a house I might be moving in to, and accompanying financial worries, tax problems, issues at work, new nanny, sleep problems, and the fact I have to home cook every single thing I eat because of allergies (which keep me awake at night if I am not careful). I could go on. I know everyone has a life - that is not easy, but mine seems to have been just too full and too difficult since getting pregnant with Sage.
But I am just Determined to have another baby, because it's something that can't wait until I'm 50! Stale eggs or fresh eggs. I just have to get on a schedule, and put my name down for IVF or fresh eggs at a proper clinic, with a real doctor (before I run out of sage's magic seed!)
I firmly believe that it will just be hard for a couple more years, then the rest will be So much easier. Already I just LOVE having Sage So SO much. If there is anyone out there who is reading this and thinking "do i really want a child" my answer is "YES" my child is everything and more than I had ever imagined a child could be. "Pushing the pram" is just such fun!