When I was 5 years old a fortune teller read my hand and declared that someday I would have a two children, a little boy and a little girl. I distinctly remember feeling quite upset that there would ONLY be two - because I wanted THREE!
Although I was sick through my entire pregnancy and life since the birth has not been at all easy. I Still want another baby. I don't really understand my hunger - but it is there and very real. I am not sure if it would be possible to cope if I had a second and got sick again.
However none of this takes away from the pleasure of finding out that although I haven't had a period in 17 weeks (I did have one at 5 weeks when I briefly stopped the milking). Today I ovulated!! - well I got the BIG smiley face on the stick. Yay!!!! Now if I just could get my hands on some seed! Hmm. And I realize there will be no support for me should I really decide to have a second baby - so i will have to say "it was a complete accident - don't know How it happened". (because thats how everyone at my work seems to get pregnant, and everyone is extremely supportive).
But I will have to wait a bit longer. Perhaps until I feel well again. At the moment I am battling awful aches and pains in my hands and feet - mostly upon rising - but the doctors keep needing to run more tests. For the last 3 months it has been getting steadily worse. But for today there is hope - I am ovulating - and that bring me immense pleasure!