Wednesday, June 27, 2012

hungry for another

When I was 5 years old  a fortune teller read my hand and declared that someday I would have a two children, a little boy and a little girl.  I distinctly remember feeling quite upset that there would ONLY be two - because I wanted THREE!

Although I was sick through my entire pregnancy and life since the birth has not been at all easy.  I Still want another baby.  I don't really understand my hunger - but it is there and very real.  I am not sure if it would be possible to cope if I had a second and got sick again.

However none of this takes away from the pleasure of finding out that although I haven't had a period in 17 weeks (I did have one at 5 weeks when I briefly stopped the milking).  Today I ovulated!! - well I got the BIG smiley face on the stick.  Yay!!!!  Now if I just could get my hands on some seed!  Hmm.   And I realize there will be no support for me should I really decide to have a second baby - so i will have to say "it was a complete accident - don't know How it happened".  (because thats how everyone at my work seems to get pregnant, and everyone is extremely supportive).  

But I will have to wait a bit longer.  Perhaps until I feel well again.  At the moment I am battling awful aches and pains in my hands and feet - mostly upon rising - but the doctors keep needing to run more tests.  For the last 3 months it has been getting steadily worse.  But for today there is hope - I am ovulating - and that bring me immense pleasure!


  1. Happy ovulation to you!!! Assuming that you do decide to have baby #2, what are you planning as far as timing the kiddos? I have thought about this a bunch and can't decide. I like the idea of kids being close together, but financially I can't imagine two in daycare. I was just curious how other SMC make this decision.

    1. I have heard child psychotherapists say the best gap is 3-5 years, however the mothers I have spoken with, assure me that about 2 years is easiest. In my situation, when Sage turns a year old I will be turning 42, so I don't have a whole lot of time! Also, should I get a new job, I will have to work three times as hard as i do currently, so in my case my goal is to be feeling really well for some months, and try to get pregnant without the use of drugs - and hope that this will help me have an easier pregnancy. And once all my vials of Sage's donor are used up, I will call it quits

  2. I had a palm reader tell me I would have 2 children as well! I also had a psychic tell me the same & with my m/c I guess technically they were right since I am 98% sure I'll only have Elena...but I still hold hope in my heart for that 2%