One of the first things I did when finding out that my due date was practically christmas day, was to immediately book a Doula. Fortunately the very first one I met seemed perfect for the job: intelligent, confident, empathic and good at giving directions.
We had our second meeting at my house last week. She asked me all kinds of questions like - Have you felt the baby move? - Do you talk to your baby? - Are you worried about the birth? All of which I had to say No No No. Truth be said I don't even feel in the slightest bit emotionally attached to my baby. Apparently something to do with my placenta being against my stomach, makes it more difficult to feel her move - perhaps this has something to do with it. I am hoping that in due course mother nature will kick in - but for right now - I can only hope that I am not too unusual in feeling No Emotional Attachment Whatsoever. I keep joking with people if this doesn't change by the time the baby is a few weeks old - I can always sell her to the highest bidder on the internet. Not sure though if this eases anyone's anxiety's other than my own!
The Doula is definitely very lovely and a bit crazy, but she also Overstayed her Welcome - just a tad. I am sure it's good sign - after all I don't want her encouraging the C-section so she can get home for her lunch! (She explained to me how she would be having me brush my teeth every hour or so to bring on an endorphin rush - so I guess I will be coming home with a Baby and the cleanest teeth in the hospital!) I knew I was not feeling too good while she was at my house and a couple minutes after she left, I threw up all over my neighbors yard. People passing / walking the dogs were awfully nice. Fairly sure though if I saw someone throwing, I would be tempted to keep more distance!
One of the best things about finding out I am having a Girl, was that I got the news just 3 days before the Largest thrift sale that I could ever had IMAGINED. Everything was So cheap - I felt like a millionaire! I may not be emotionally attached to Baby - but I sure am materialistically attached! I bought a TON of clothes - it took hours! In fact baby probably now has as big a wardrobe as I do - only she hasn't even been born yet - We have at least enough clothes, toys, blankets and gadgets to get us through the whole first year. All of them for cents on the dollar. Its embarrassing - but I actually counted and I had brought home clothes that hung on 80 hangers!!!!!!!!!!! and many of these had two or more pieces!
I know that many people feel its tempting fate to buy baby items before Baby is better cooked - but I figured that if they only have this sale twice a year - the next time it comes - I will either be in the hospital delivering - or home with a brand new baby - and not able to tolerate the stress of shopping (and hunting out the bargain - before the next person gets to it).
Of course this has led me to spend hours considering what I would do if something goes wrong with this baby. Because everyone I know, KNOWS about my "little project" and I am realizing that one can't count on anything in this world going as one would like it to. If this baby doesn't make it I could either keep all the stuff and hope that I get pregnant again - and that the next Baby is a girl - or give it away to charity. Just for the record, I spent 368 dollars - but I literally have EVERYTHING I could possibly need except for the car seat and a breast pump. I wasn't sure how hygienic it would be to use someone else's!
I am spending the next few days getting ready for another trip to visit The Mother. I have the feeling it is going to be a Long Visit. She has already told me I am supposed to be doeing 50 kegel exercises at a quarter past every hour, and that I am Not Allowed to sit on any sofa or soft chair - in case it makes the baby breach - and that I should be doing proper breathing exercises! Hmmm. What was I thinking!